"Parenting Without a License"

America, as well as most other so-called civilized countries, is awash with licensing requirements. Documented permits granting authorization to do something. Based on some form of demonstrated evidence that one not only has the “desire” and “capability” to perform specific functions, but also is “qualified” to do so in accordance with certain society-established requirements.

Yes, whether one is, for example, running a donut shop; teaching school; practicing medicine; performing work as a certified mechanic, welder, or electrician, etc.; driving an automobile; or getting married—to do so legally often requires a license. Evidence of being capable and qualified to do so.

However, of course not so when it comes to among the (if not the) most important functions and responsibilities on the planet—human reproduction and parenting! No “beforehand mandated evidence” attesting to parenting desire, willingness, capability, and qualifications—as an estimated average of about 353,000 children are born around the world each day. Nothing to ensure a parenting environment that, for example:

* Includes a capable, qualified, and loving mother and father;

* Encourages belief in a loving and forgiving God of their personal understanding;

* Instills self-confidence and self-esteem, as opposed to insecurity and self-pity;

* Distinguishes right, truth, and reality, from wrong, falsehood, and fantasy;

* Protects against parental unrealistic expectations; abandonment; abuse; etc.;

* Cautions against treating life’s blessings, challenges, and realities, with self-destructive apathy, complacency, denial, greed, and fear;

* Applies constructive as opposed to destructive discipline;

* Promotes good work ethic and attitudes of responsibility; earned-achievement, independence, and self-sufficiency, as opposed to mindsets rooted in deserving, dependence, and victimhood;

* Encourages self-respect, due respect for others, caring, and self-sacrifice, as opposed to self-loathing, undue disrespect of others, uncaringness, and greed;

* Instills an understanding that humankind’s rights to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness are inalienable (God-given), and not derived from other humankind. And that such rights must be protected, defended, and never abused or taken for granted;

* Stresses the importance of seeking the Serenity to accept the things one cannot change, Courage to change the things one can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

= = =

I, and likely many others, will forever regret not long, long ago having and demonstrating a much more responsible grasp of the parenting needs summarized above. That which we now understand as being so truly crucial. A failure we and our loved ones will long suffer in various ways. However, life does not come with a “reverse gear.” So, we are left each in our own ways with the importance of embracing our gift-of-life journey. With the understanding that, while as children and adults we often have little to no control of what happens to us, at least as adults, those of us blessed with the opportunity to exercise our free-will can, much if not most of the time, choose how "we respond" to life’s ups and downs.

As some of we adults and our children and grandchildren, are raised by capable, qualified, and loving parents; and some experience otherwise.

While even those born into and raised by way of the most ideal and enviable of circumstances, none the less likely follow an often not openly acknowledged, ages-old, well-traveled path fittingly described by the following quotation:

“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” –Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

As I, and likely countless other blessed to be parents ponder more with age—how will we be judged; and if we will be forgiven?

                                            —William James Moore